regarding sewing machine status

since no one has taken the time to advance the issue of sewing machine superiority in this forum

- i will -

the three machines in question are:
1) an educational-institution worthy bernina - that is 1975 worthy
2) a euro-pro fancypants "it can monogram" monstrosity
3) an unassuming, humble, but readily capable brother


after a considerable objective discussion with myself concerning the qualities each machine had to offer

- i have concluded -

while the bernina enjoys the simplicity of "days gone by" it simply doesn't possess the, how does one say? chutzpah! of the new millennium (or the 90s or 80s for that matter) - one must, however, give their propers to the brand of bernina, but, unfortunately, sewing machines (per their usefulness) are not like fine wines (of course when I say "fine" I mean "boxed")

at first glance, the option-laden europro looks pretty, well (to steal a word from the bernina's generation), groovy - but at second glance, that grooviness disappears into the soulless abyss from whence this machine spawned - who really needs 400 stitches anyways? I think someone is compensating for something - a tiny needle perhaps?

refreshingly modern, with sleek lines, easy operation and a stunning sexiness that is surpassed only by that of its owner, the brother ce-4000 can be described with one word - that word - love (and of course when I say "love" I mean "sex") pure love (sex) - from the instant the power is switched on, the foot pedal engaged - all time stops (except for actual time - that kind of time really doesn't ever stop for some reason, even when your watch stops - don't ask me how) no single instrument of industry is as capable of joining two pieces of fabric as is the ce-4000 (I think the 4000 means it's 4000 times better - better than what? you, most likely) - I could go on but I would run the risk of being overly complimentary of such a deserving subject.

- the winner? -

if you can't figure that one out you probably are either

1) too old to form coherent thoughts
or
2) too busy monogramming my initials



this is my unanimous decision - Advise.

ginni's ugly turtle

ginni's first craft night project.